Post by ocelotofdoom on Apr 14, 2011 22:27:21 GMT -5
news.yahoo.com/video/health-15749655/bullied-child-gets-plastic-surgery-24902719
"Epic fail" seems wholly inadequate to describe this. The whole thing. The situation, the response to it, and how the video portrays it. I broke down crying about 5 times trying to watch it. Most days I can for the most part believe that the people who chased me around the schoolyard calling me a monster, the guy who insulted my appearance throughout the 8th grade in front of teachers who let it happen, the teacher who excluded me from class activities on the basis of my facial structure are just assholes, and most people aren't that bad or at least can learn to deal with what they don't understand or don't like seeing at first. But no. This video is apparently how people think about people with ears that are "too big" by some arbitrary standard, much less what they think about people like me with even stranger appearances. That we aren't worth treating with basic human decency unless we change ourselves. People don't say it or think it that way, it's just exactly what they mean when they say "kids are cruel, there's nothing we can do to stop it" as justification for "fixing" the victims and not the bullies and abusers of the world. We aren't considered important enough for people to protect.
I know my only option to deal with it is to change how things are somehow, because I'm never going to be okay with how they are now, but that doesn't even seem like enough. Until then, I'm dealing with the possibility that one of the first thing a person is thinking when they see me is "Why didn't she get that fixed?" With the doubt as to whether that person's look in my direction was just their eyes being in the general direction of me or an outright STARE, and the subsequent beating myself up over feeling too paranoid or self-important for even thinking that. With the thought that it would have been better for me to be aromantic as well as asexual, because even most ace people seem to have aesthetic attraction, and most people's idea of what constitutes attractive seems to preclude people who look like me. With the knowledge from experience that some people in my life would be more happy if I were to become normal than they would be if I accomplished just about anything by my own merit. I know I'm not supposed to care what other people think (at the same time that I most definitely AM and should want to be just like them), but it does affect how I think and feel if not how what I actually end up deciding to do. I worry sometimes that, even if I DO manage to change things so that people like me aren't devalued like we are now, I won't be able to appreciate or fully accept it as true. And it's because this shit keeps getting perpetuated, popping up every time I get anywhere close to forgetting how things were(/are) and feeling secure in how things are now.
...And now I'm dizzy. Slightly less upset, but dizzy. I don't want to sleep yet, but I don't feel like I'm able to do work or anything resembling it either. God, I hate that this has ruined my night. Fuck you, Good Morning America. Fuck you especially for taking away the good feelings I had after reading the end of a book that was actually very deformity-positive. Also, fuck you for making me Like your Facebook page in order to tell you exactly how problematic this story was.
"Epic fail" seems wholly inadequate to describe this. The whole thing. The situation, the response to it, and how the video portrays it. I broke down crying about 5 times trying to watch it. Most days I can for the most part believe that the people who chased me around the schoolyard calling me a monster, the guy who insulted my appearance throughout the 8th grade in front of teachers who let it happen, the teacher who excluded me from class activities on the basis of my facial structure are just assholes, and most people aren't that bad or at least can learn to deal with what they don't understand or don't like seeing at first. But no. This video is apparently how people think about people with ears that are "too big" by some arbitrary standard, much less what they think about people like me with even stranger appearances. That we aren't worth treating with basic human decency unless we change ourselves. People don't say it or think it that way, it's just exactly what they mean when they say "kids are cruel, there's nothing we can do to stop it" as justification for "fixing" the victims and not the bullies and abusers of the world. We aren't considered important enough for people to protect.
I know my only option to deal with it is to change how things are somehow, because I'm never going to be okay with how they are now, but that doesn't even seem like enough. Until then, I'm dealing with the possibility that one of the first thing a person is thinking when they see me is "Why didn't she get that fixed?" With the doubt as to whether that person's look in my direction was just their eyes being in the general direction of me or an outright STARE, and the subsequent beating myself up over feeling too paranoid or self-important for even thinking that. With the thought that it would have been better for me to be aromantic as well as asexual, because even most ace people seem to have aesthetic attraction, and most people's idea of what constitutes attractive seems to preclude people who look like me. With the knowledge from experience that some people in my life would be more happy if I were to become normal than they would be if I accomplished just about anything by my own merit. I know I'm not supposed to care what other people think (at the same time that I most definitely AM and should want to be just like them), but it does affect how I think and feel if not how what I actually end up deciding to do. I worry sometimes that, even if I DO manage to change things so that people like me aren't devalued like we are now, I won't be able to appreciate or fully accept it as true. And it's because this shit keeps getting perpetuated, popping up every time I get anywhere close to forgetting how things were(/are) and feeling secure in how things are now.
...And now I'm dizzy. Slightly less upset, but dizzy. I don't want to sleep yet, but I don't feel like I'm able to do work or anything resembling it either. God, I hate that this has ruined my night. Fuck you, Good Morning America. Fuck you especially for taking away the good feelings I had after reading the end of a book that was actually very deformity-positive. Also, fuck you for making me Like your Facebook page in order to tell you exactly how problematic this story was.
