Post by you*hear*but*do*you*listen on Nov 24, 2010 22:05:47 GMT -5
I knew it. I fucking knew it. My psychobitch mother doesn’t believe I should be engaged.
It’s not like I don’t understand the doubt that two twenty-year-olds have found the person they want to be with for the rest of their lives. And she hasn’t seen how happy my fiancée and I make each other; I’ve been told that seeing me and my love together absolves all doubts that we aren’t perfect for each other. And this is my first relationship. And it’s a relationship between a sexual and an asexual, and that almost never works.
And yet. And yet and yet and yet. It’s not that she doubts that we will be together forever. It’s that she so obviously believes it’s impossible for my relationship to work out and she’s trying to claim she’s not “doubting or judging.” (I don’t think she’s judging, actually…but doubting, oh yes.) She told me that “statistically” it was super unlikely for someone my age to be in a life-long relationship, pointed out any possible problems that could arise from marriage in general, etc. She claimed that she’d be saying the same thing no matter my orientation; couldn’t tell whether or not that was bullshit. My money is on “bullshit” right now. Why is my money on “bullshit”? Because—oh, and I wanted to smack her so hard—she started questioning my fiancée’s devotion to me and implying that my fiancée might go sleeping around with someone else. Why? Because, of course, I am asexual. And the fact that I think my partner is completely gorgeous and actually am willing to make love to her (and that I love doing so, might I add) doesn’t mean shit because I, as my mom puts it, am not sexually attracted to her. And my explanation that my fiancée cares much more about me loving her than me not being sexually attracted to anyone failed epically, because…because my mother couldn’t get her head around being happy in a romantic relationship with somebody who’s not biologically driven to fuck you. And when I said we wouldn’t have gotten together if she cared that I’m asexual, she said—get this—that “she might change her mind.” Yeah, great argument, bitch. That’s what you said about me being asexual, remember? Recall how that worked out?
Oh, and she asked awkward, invasive questions about my sex life when digging for proof that whatever we were doing wasn’t fulfilling enough for my fiancée. It made me insanely uncomfortable because I was, obviously, inherently talking about my fiancée and not just myself. Because of this, I tried to answer as vaguely as possible, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to violate my partner’s privacy for the psychobitch’s sake. My vagueness and my lack of comfort with the conversation probably convinced her I was either lying or that she was right that my lack of attraction to my partner would send her searching for somebody else to fuck. (Granted, the idea that my fiancée would cheat on me was only an implication from her…and if it had been more than that…I would have punched her. But seriously, she asked me “How would you feel if she had sex with somebody else?” I mean, what the FUCK???)
It’s not like I don’t understand the doubt that two twenty-year-olds have found the person they want to be with for the rest of their lives. And she hasn’t seen how happy my fiancée and I make each other; I’ve been told that seeing me and my love together absolves all doubts that we aren’t perfect for each other. And this is my first relationship. And it’s a relationship between a sexual and an asexual, and that almost never works.
And yet. And yet and yet and yet. It’s not that she doubts that we will be together forever. It’s that she so obviously believes it’s impossible for my relationship to work out and she’s trying to claim she’s not “doubting or judging.” (I don’t think she’s judging, actually…but doubting, oh yes.) She told me that “statistically” it was super unlikely for someone my age to be in a life-long relationship, pointed out any possible problems that could arise from marriage in general, etc. She claimed that she’d be saying the same thing no matter my orientation; couldn’t tell whether or not that was bullshit. My money is on “bullshit” right now. Why is my money on “bullshit”? Because—oh, and I wanted to smack her so hard—she started questioning my fiancée’s devotion to me and implying that my fiancée might go sleeping around with someone else. Why? Because, of course, I am asexual. And the fact that I think my partner is completely gorgeous and actually am willing to make love to her (and that I love doing so, might I add) doesn’t mean shit because I, as my mom puts it, am not sexually attracted to her. And my explanation that my fiancée cares much more about me loving her than me not being sexually attracted to anyone failed epically, because…because my mother couldn’t get her head around being happy in a romantic relationship with somebody who’s not biologically driven to fuck you. And when I said we wouldn’t have gotten together if she cared that I’m asexual, she said—get this—that “she might change her mind.” Yeah, great argument, bitch. That’s what you said about me being asexual, remember? Recall how that worked out?
Oh, and she asked awkward, invasive questions about my sex life when digging for proof that whatever we were doing wasn’t fulfilling enough for my fiancée. It made me insanely uncomfortable because I was, obviously, inherently talking about my fiancée and not just myself. Because of this, I tried to answer as vaguely as possible, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to violate my partner’s privacy for the psychobitch’s sake. My vagueness and my lack of comfort with the conversation probably convinced her I was either lying or that she was right that my lack of attraction to my partner would send her searching for somebody else to fuck. (Granted, the idea that my fiancée would cheat on me was only an implication from her…and if it had been more than that…I would have punched her. But seriously, she asked me “How would you feel if she had sex with somebody else?” I mean, what the FUCK???)