I'm starting to feel drained lately. It feels like I keep running into privilege denying dudes everywhere I go. Sometimes it feels like nobody in my personal life gives a shit about anybody who doesn't fit some bullshit standard of normal, or the people who do care are only prepared to go as far as they can without owning their own damn privilege, so lately even when I encounter stuff like this ( www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/59957-get-a-load-of-this/page__view__findpost__p__1821144 ) from someone I don't even know I just find myself thinking of all the friends with similar dismissive attitudes who I can't seem to get through to. Lately I feel like there isn't a safe space for me to turn to.
Sometimes it just feels like this world will always be a hateful place and I find it hard to muster up the energy to try to improve the circumstances of my own life. :/
Sorry I didn't get back to this. I've been on internet hiatus for a while. I pretty much haven't improved since I made this thread, and I just didn't have the energy for much forum activity for the past couple of months. I edited the link in my first post, anywho.
Annnd, shortly after making my presence felt again online I got to enjoy a wonderful conversation with an acquaintance who seemed to think that coming out was just a play for attention, or trying to turn your sexuality into something special. Straight people, OTOH, are so enlightened, because they 'just are'. When I pointed out that straight people have the benefit of being the assumed default, and I actually find coming out has helped me feel normal while the assumption that I'm heterosexual causes me to feel abnormal, she just repeated the same talking points that non-heterosexual people should stop acting like their sexuality is special, and just be themselves.
It really frustrates me when heterosexuals start telling any queer* group they should "chill out and be themselves." I've seen one or two people make queerness their whole identity, and that's no good, but doing visibility work, showing pride etc. is NOT that. Sorry, heterosexuals, but some of you haven't experienced what it's like to be treated like less of a person because of who you are or are not attracted to. So let us strike blows for our treatment as humans instead of freaks by coming out, mmkay?
"Anything can be a weapon if you're holding it right." --Ludo
One of the things that bugs me so much is that I am being myself. I'm an aromantic asexual living in a romantic sexual world. Of course my orientations inform my world view. And my personal experience growing up under the assumption that I was a damaged heterosexual gives me incentive to try to make this world more inclusive. (A point that I actually raised in the conversation, but which she totally ignored. Because theory is always better than lived experience, I guess.)